Careful with my Heart
by gypsykl79
Summary: Payson attacked her college education with the same intense focus she had applied to earning her Olympic medals. In just 5 years Payson had achieved her Master's Degree to become a Sports Therapist. Now fielding job offers she must decide where to go.
1. Chapter 1

Make it or Break it

AN: Just getting my feet wet on MIOBI I've never written for this one, but I ran out of Payson/Sasha stuff to read.

Careful With My Heart

Payson attacked her college education with the same intense focus she had applied to earning her Olympic medals. In just 5 years Payson had achieved not just her Bachelor's Degree to become a Sports Therapist, she took it a step farther and was Board Certified. Not content that she had learned all she could, she added to her accreditations once more to Master in her field, first in her class. She spent her summer with her family in Minnesota, fielding jobs offers from all over the country.

Payson had promised herself she would be open minded with the offers, even though she felt a pull back to gymnastics. She wanted to leave room for the possibility that the perfect position for her may not be within her chosen sport. Maybe a center with a multiple sport clientele. Sky's the limit.

Every night she goes thru new offers paying attention to dates and divides them into four stacks: No, Maybe, Need more info, or definitely interested. Having promised herself to finally take time off she mostly discards anything that expects immediate hire. She has made it clear that she would not be starting a new job before September. Between her medals and her education she can afford to be picky. To be honest she is now every company or clubs first choice.

She shouldn't have been surprised at a request for a meeting and an offer from The Rock. She was however surprised to see that Austin Tucker had wrote a note under Summers' signature saying "Call me Keeler! You know you want to come home!"

Payson shook her head. The Rock. She had closed the door to that place after Sasha announced his resignation after the Rock Rebels Olympics. She had so many memories both good and bad there but did she want to go back there. Would that be the new beginning she wanted or a step backwards. That's a lot to think about.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Kim Keeler took a deep breath before knocking on her eldest daughter's door. She didn't have long to wait before she heard a muffled "It's opened". She was taken aback by the sight off Payson laying on the floor. She was wearing a hoodie that had once belonged to Rigo, she had worn it a lot until their break up right before the Olympics, and was surrounded by photos and letters. Yet, most surprising was Payson herself, the tears and old worn medal around her neck, and gray sweater balled up at her face.

Kim asked the question before she could stop herself. "How did you end up with Sasha's favorite sweater? Why were you just smelling it?" Kim would have known that sweater anywhere Sasha wore it all the time at the rock.

"He loaned it to me in London." She sighed. "Too bad it doesn't smell like him anymore. I loved that smell."

"How did he smell?" Kim asked more curious than she would have imagined.

"Cedar and Irish spring." Payson answered immediately no thought needed.

Payson sat up crossing her legs and asked already sure of what her mother's answer would b . "Can I tell you something you may not like?" Kim closed the door to give them privacy and sat mirroring her daughter in front of her.

"I lied to you. After I kissed Sasha. I said it was just a crush, but I was so hopelessly in love with him. He pushed me away that was true. He did what he should have and it crushed me. Then he left, everyone blamed me. I couldn't be honest about how I felt he would have never come back. I was so confused, I was sure he felt something too. There were times I could see this flash of something, when we talked this kinship. Understanding. Then it'd be gone."

"Oh Payson." Kim's heart weighing at her words, she reached across taking her hand. She had always believed Sasha and her daughter shared a special bond but she never dreamed how deep her daughter's feelings went. She had taken her at her word that it was a crush. In a different time with less of an age difference, they may have made a great match. But she had been too young. What they had made Payson the gymnast that swept the London games. At what cost to her heart though?

"We were walking, he was showing me around London. Trying to ward off the jetlag. I just blurted out, "You do know you're not getting this sweater back, don't you?" she chuckled thinking of his look of confusion. "He asked why?"

Her mom probed gently, "What did you tell him?"

"I stopped and waited until he was looking at me. 'Because it belongs to the man I have been in love with since I was 16, who believed in me even when I had lost faith in myself. I have seen you in it more times than I can count but more importantly, because it smells like you.

So, I have every intention of going to bed in this sweater and nothing else. I want to fall asleep wrapped in your smell, because I know that's as close as I'll get to being able to fall asleep in your arms."

"Wow." Kim was shocked at Payson's bluntness with Sasha. Leaning forward, "What did he say?"

Payson made a face. "He reminded me we had talked about this before, but that just pissed me off. I pointed out we had talked about it when I was 16 and it was inappropriate and illegal. I was now 19 and a week away from retired. Since he was no longer going to be my coach I wanted to revisit the conversation. I pointed out that I had since dated multiple people and loved them. Yet, I had not been in love with either Rigo or Austin. I was no longer naive and knew my feelings for Sasha were not going away. I had spent years trying to ignore them and it wasn't working. I told him that I think you love me too. That you're so good at hiding but I know you feel something. So I guess what I'm asking is what do you feel for me? Do you love me? Or will I always be just a gymnast to you?" Tears ran down her cheeks as she remembered his answer.

"He cupped my face and said, 'It's such a wonderful dream to think we could actually be together. I wish it were as simple as us loving each other, but I can't give you what you want. The press has a long memory and they are waiting to see what happens after the Olympics. They are waiting for us to validate all the rumors. All of your accomplishments would be tainted. So would the others and my career would be over. I would be viewed as a pedophile.' He kissed me mom." Payson said both wonder and heartbreak obvious on her face.

"It was more than I ever thought could be in a kiss. Hunger, love, longing, adoration… everything he couldn't say was there in that one kiss. Then he just flagged a taxi. Then he broke my heart. He said "I have loved you since Ronnie put you in that pink dress and shown a light on just how stunning you are. You stopped being just my gymnast at that moment. Never doubt how much I love you. Its overwhelming at times." He helped me into the cab and kissed me again. I could tell it was goodbye. He gave the driver money and told him which dorm I was staying in. He was crying when I looked back.

He was at all my events, in the crowd. Always just out of reach. The story of my life. He left as I was on the podium getting my last medal. That night I lost my virginity to Austin." She handed two letters to her mom hopping for understanding.

"You're going to Romania." Kim stated fearing for Payson's heart. "He may not want you there. This offer is from his father not him. He left to protect you, he may have moved on."

"I spoke to Demitri today. He's dying. I want to be there in case Sasha needs me. I owe him that much for everything he's sacrificed for me. If he doesn't need me or want me there, I plan to take Austin's offer at the Rock. Dealing with Summer will suck but I may be fun upsetting her self-righteous views." Payson smiled mischievously.

"I'll support you no matter what but, Oh Pay I hope you know what you're doing." Her mother told her standing up. "I'll go prepare your dad as gently as possible. When do you leave?"

"Tonight. I'm stopping in Boulder to see Austin and will be leaving for Romania day after tomorrow." She answered cleaning up the letters and pictures covering the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

CAREFUL WITH MY HEART CHAP 2

Author's note in my world Payson never went all the way with Rigo. And her in Austin had a relationship that will slowly be flashback to, throughout the story.

Payson pulled into the parking spot that had once housed the shiny airstream Sasha had called home. The whole flight to Boulder she had tried to go over what she wanted to tell Austin. He was the only person who knew the full extent of her feelings for Sasha, he understood because he felt the same pull towards Kaylie. That relationship began as friends needing comfort, only to evolve into a companionship.

While they never fell in love they did love each other madly and deeply. Both had felt a deep regret to realize they had everything a truly successful partnership needed except neither could let themselves fall. In all their honesty, Passion, and contentment neither lost sight of the fact they didn't love each other as they should. Ultimately, deciding to end things, remaining devoted friends and confidants.

How does she tell him she's off to more than likely get her heart broken again but she'll be back for Austin to help her tape it back together just as he did once before. Somehow, Payson couldn't see him being before. Somehow, Payson couldn't see him being happy about the prospect.

She quietly opens the door to the rock relieved to find the old squeak gone. Payson close her eyes taking in the sounds and smells of her 2nd home. Not hearing Austin's voice she opened her eyes searching the floor But he was nowhere in sight so she headed up the stairs coming face-to-face with summer Van Horn.

"Payson!" the perky blonde exclaimed. "It's so wonderful to have you home!" she gushed presumptuously. "I'm not home. Is Austin in the office?" she asked shortly moving around the frowning blonde.

"Yes" she said hesitantly. "I should check if he's available though." she stated only to be ignored as Payson mumbled to loudly "I've seen him naked. I'm sure he's available." She moved up the stairs and away from Summers shocked disapproval.

Payson relaxed her stance as she stood in the doorway watching Austin shift their papers mumbling under his breath. Having not seen him in months she was momentarily hit with That old desire before she snapped it down. "You know you get better with age that could be a problem if I work here." Payson said with amusement. problem if I work here." Payson said with amusement. She chuckled when she saw Austin jump at the sound of her voice.

Lifting his head slowly "I don't get better with age, you just like old men. The older I get the more I turn you on." Austin quips with a smile coming around the desk to give her a big hug. "I should be offended by that." she returned, "And I would if there wasn't the little bit of truth to it." Letting herself sink into the hugged like she done so many times before.

Austin noticed Summers disapproving glance thru the window and he pulled back. "So you've come to accept the job offer." He teased offering her a seat.

Payson grimaced, "Not exactly." She answered pulling the two letters out of her bag handing them to Austin. She waited quietly as Austin read both, seeing the disbelief on his face as he shook his head.

"Pay, don't do this to yourself. Romania? Its not even him. Who knows why his dad made this offer. They have a complicated history I'm surprised Sasha is even there coaching." Austin continued "This," he said throwing the letters on the desk in front of her. "Is a bad idea. You loved him, and he left. He's not going to be waiting with open arms, or whatever your imagining. You still love him! This has heartbreak written all over is. What are you thinking?"

"His father is dying." She said quietly, "I know Sasha won't be waiting for me, but I owe him. He sacrificed so much, he came back, all the whispers, the hit to his reputation. Even his leaving was to protect me, he knew what people would say about us and he made the right call. I won't say it didn't hurt we both know better, but I understand it now. Age and time have given me more perspective on the matter."

Austin searched her face before asking "What do you need from me then?" he asked taking her hand.

"If things go bad will I still have a job here. If you must fill the position right away I understand. I guess I'm just asking my options. Because when this goes tits up I'd like to have a place to land." She calculated bluntly. She didn't lie to Austin and now wasn't the time to start.

"Jake is retiring in two years, my thought was you would work together, learn from him then take over when he leaves. No time crunches. If this is what you need, closure or whatever you have time. You'll still be my first choice."

Payson nodded before smiling "You know I still don't like Summer. I've already unintentionally outed us. Should make my kidnapping you for some personal time tonight fodder for the water cooler." She flirted.

"Miss Keeler, are you suggesting revisiting our old arrangement?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"And if I am?" she smiles back knowing it would help ground her before dealing with Sasha. Hadn't she done the same for Austin multiple times before he saw Kaylie.

"I'd say since I have the tots today the assistants can handle it." He said pulling her through the office door. Her laugh filling the gym as he announced. "I'm taking a personal day Tara and Jake are in charge."

Neither noticing Summers disapproving look from the reception area.


End file.
